I think it was Oprah who wrote -

“Back when I turned 50, I wrote that on every birthday, you decide whether to mark it as the end of your greatest days or the beginning of your finest hour.”

It is ironic that I start this blog post quoting Oprah, because I remember with great disdain how in sarcasm I was called Oprah some years ago by a colleague I worked with at Social Services .

It is not because I don’t absolutely adore , admire and respect Oprah, her open spirituality , enrapturing all with her new age modern wisdom- no , no!

It is because our lives are so distinctly different . I am not surrounded by personal wealth enjoyed by others You see all I have are the scars of choosing to leave a flourishing legal career to be around my children . A privilege granted to me by my husband , who made me realise from the time we met - that his love for me will be demonstrated in making my dreams come true … he didn’t realise the full impact though of them only being based on dreams for greater good….

Anyway back to the Oprah comment . I felt the comment ugly because at the time despite my legal qualifications ( and after coming out of children’s court training as an acting Magistrate my only desire was to lend support to Social Workers . I entered working with the local social services institution I knew where my take home was about R7 k. I was certainly no wealthy Oprah at the time but wanted so desperately to change the landscape of this most vital service in the country aside from teachers who were shouldering the responsibility and burden as the most hard working beings in society, of children neglected, abused , tormented, molested and literally thrown away . I felt all systems broken having interfaced with courts , and the department of social development- not green but as a mature attorney of 20 odd years - I saw my only path forward as attempting to make a difference by using all my talents, resources , healthy mind full of ideas and inspiration to change the landscape for the social services institution I chose to work with - which was already a close relationship in community building for 5 years at that point.

You see many people believed I was wealthy from the people I was surrounded by, Ofcourse I had more than any of the beneficiaries I worked with ( and that for me is a far greater wealth in terms of those that I am surrounded by)but our home wasn’t a mansion and our cars were never the envy of anyone accept for those without vehicles . But as time wore on I realised my wealth was far beyond the people that surrounded me in respect of their material things -It was the wealth that only a community possesses who can infect others with purpose , and a richness to their existence by opening their hearts to service, which inspires greater well being, love , all through giving. I realised quickly why I was born into a family of givers of that spirit, why I married into a family I had to learn a different way of being from and why I know can speak from the heart into this tapestry of life that I do want to impact other generations around me - as a different way to be.

Hardly any of us are representing to our children that you don’t have to live according to the expectations of others , but in accordance with your own expectations of self.
Hardly any of us are moulding our children according to their talents and to grab every piece of a life worth living, even if it is built on service.

Hardly any of us are whispering into their ears to live for self , According to their highest self worth that is beyond identity around gender, sex , class and religion.

Hardly any of us allowing them to simply be…

So when I begin to weave the tapestry of my life this 50 th year of my existence - I want to both mark it as the end of the greatest days of learning but beginning of my finest hour of living. It might not ever mean health as I recognise my excesses, but it will mean spirit and the choice to live a deserved happiness till the very end ….